Ten Tips For Dating In The Caribbean.

1) Love Is The Way Forward.

Love is the most powerful force in the world.

There are levels to love, nevertheless, on some level. Love, is how all of us got here.

Whether the love that brought us was shallow and more physical. Or deep and based off of two people, cultivating a love that could beat Father Time. Either way, our very existence can ultimately be traced to love.

There’s a lesson to be learned from that. The lesson is, any plan that we make should start from a place of love. If we follow this simple principle, we rarely if ever plan wrong.

Start with self love. Love yourself and as per the law of attraction as detailed by Rhonda Byrne in her book The Secret. We will be able to attract people that love us too. Furthermore, spend time doing the things you love. This makes it possible for you to build connections and meet people who love the same things you do.

2) Be Intentional And Specific When It Comes To Dating.

The clearer you can be about what you want, the easier it will be for you to get what you want. What are the primary characteristsics, the must-haves, the fundamentals you need to be able to build something special with someone? What are the deal breakers, the non negotiables, be clear about what you want to avoid and why is really important too.

Invest time in being clear about you want to attract and what you want to repel so that you act accordingly swiftly without hesitating, when it’s time to. Clarity and being specific allows us to save time.

Life is short enough and time is scarce. There is no reason why we should allow ourselves to lose time, due to being unclear about the type of person we would want to partner with. Finally, if we are prisoners of uncertainty. The best way to move past that is through action. Action brings experience and experience should bring clarity. So if we are unsure, we just need to get experimental and try things until life’s experience gives us clarity.

3) Dating Is All About: Location, location, location.

Spend time in the places you love. Whatever you do. Whoever you are, do yourself a favor and spend time in the places you love. It sounds like such a simple idea and it is. Sometimes we suffer unnecessary pain because we’re unable to see the solutions that are right there, under our noses.

Spending time in locations is one of those low hanging branches of fruit that we too often sleep on. When you frequent places you love, you make it possible to meet people that share this love. Which is a great way to get your social life trending in the right direction. This way, we can either directly meet someone of interest or, meet a friend, of someone of interest.

Finally, the saying about birds of a feather applies here, because show me where your friends like to hang out and I’ll show you who you are. Our identities are tied to the locations we frequent and it is easier to meet people that match your vibe when you meet people that frequent the same places as you.

4) When It Comes To Dating, Teamwork Makes The Dreamwork.

One of the wisest and most insightful business decisions is to get the right people on the bus. This insight, is advice shared by Jim Collins in his hugely successful book, From Good To Great.

In other words, businesses get a significant competitive edge by having the right people on the bus, because these people need practically, no management or motivation to be great.

Dating is similar to the world of business because both dating and business are team sports. So what leads to success in business can lead to success in dating too. For two people to successfully date each other, both parties need to be team players with the same goals.

Be clear about your goals, be a team player and only date people who are also team players. Again, being clear about what you want, has to first happen so that you can then, attract what it is you want. What do you want to build with your partner? What weaknesses do you have that a partner would help offset? If you and your partner are about to be a dream team, what characteristics are needed for this dream team to become real?

5) Live Your Best Life.

Everybody loves a winner. Including your potential partner.
Focus on winning now.
Spend your energy on winning now so that when you meet someone of interest, you can invite them into your winner’s circle. Such an invitation is unlikely to be refused – especially for long.

Moreover, it is exhausting for us to focus our energy outward for extended periods of time. When you make living your best life your goal you achieve the win/win.

This is because when you do this, your attention is back on you and you control you. Such an approach is empowering and helps us avoid a dependency mindset and anxiety. Again, love yourself and attract someone that can help you do that. Thereby giving you the most valid reason to love them back, because they love you.

6) Be Up Front.

Being up front is a win for both parties. You either find out the two of you are a mismatch and save each other time because of it. On the other hand, being up front, enables you to find your match straight away. Finding what you want straight away is one of the best feelings you can have.

Being efficient with your time when it comes to dating, is the best way to manage your time while dating, because dating inherently requires you to spend time. Moreover, when you are upfront, it serves as a reference point that you can always come back to, if things repeatedly go in a direction you said that you wanted to avoid.

As an adult (a dating adult at that), we all have nothing to gain from being discreet about what we want. Be upfront, be open, be honest, about what you want and see what the other person does with the ball, when it is in their court. If they do the right thing, congratulations, you found yourself a winner. If they do the wrong thing congratulations, you saved yourself some time. Now you can spend that time you saved, on finding yourself a winner.

7) Add Value.

As we said earlier, teamwork makes the dreamwork. No matter how noble, pure or genuine your intentions are. You are reliant on the other party playing (along) ball, if, you are to secure a W in this dating game. All participants in the adult game known as dating know, that talk, is cheap.

Therefore, a great way to get ahead in this dating game and separating yourself from the crowd is to: add value. You will earn respect and social capital if you are able to demonstrate value.

How do you do this? By being empathetic. If you can put yourself in the next person shoes you can anticipate their needs. Doing this enables you to meet their needs without them telling you what their needs are. This will earn you a “wow moment” with your person of interest, as you just moved in time with them, to the beat, without words being necessary. Such a gesture is the type of thing only “the one” can pull of.

If you can make a habit out of doing this, your potential other half, will go from thinking you are the one, to believing it. Which is when you really become the one.

8) What Dating Lessons Has History Taught You?

Left unchecked, history always repeats itself. Which is fine if it is positive. However, mistakes are to be avoided like the plague.

In employment, your resume shows you the types of environments you are likely to be successful in.
When you look back at the resume of your love life, what does it tell you? Where are your wins and strengths? Where are your weaknesses and where is there room for improvement?

The only way you can be ready to partner with the best possible person is if you are being your best self. The only way you can be your best self, is by addressing your weaknesses. Going through the struggle of self improvement, is the price we have to pay to both be our best selves and find our best partners.

9) Play The Numbers.

If you want to be like Pitbull and Stephen Marley and have options, you have got to play the numbers game.

Dating can be an extreme sport and difficult. Even when you are Mrs or Mr Right and you have all of your stuff together.

Therefore, it is a good idea to play the numbers game smartly so that, as far as possible, you put the odds in your favor. How do you do this, you do this by finding ways to market your attractiveness to a group, rather than just playing one on one all the time.

This way, your efforts are efficiently exercised by you doing something once that nevertheless, gets to resonate across a whole group. With competitiveness being a big part of human nature. You give a group, motivation, to compete for and chase you, when you display your desirability to them.

Some ways you can do this is by occupying a leadership role in an organisation you are passionate about e.g. a charity.

You can use your social media accounts to market your desirable traits.

Creating an online presence, public speaking, working with other people that have a high amount of visibility are all ways you can start to market your strengths to a group, rather than just an individual.

With all this being said, there is nothing wrong with playing one on one. On the contrary, the steady organic pace of talking to one person at a time might be ideal. This is a judgement call that every individual has to make for themselves. However, if that steady, hit or miss pace is too slow. We all can free ourselves of being subjected to this measured pace, by marketing ourselves to a group.

10) When Dating, Teamwork Makes The Dreamwork 2.0

We’ve already spoken on how important it is to have a team player’s mentality when it comes to dating.

It takes two, to have a successful, fulfilling, healthy and loving relationship. However, if teamwork is the end goal. What’s to stop us from using teamwork as the means that gets us to our end goals too?

Dating can be lonely. Thinking you found the love of your life and then falling back to square and being single again is lonely.

So why should we accept or put up with such loneliness? Surely, it is better to team up with friends and other people who, like us are on their journeys towards find their significant others? In other words, one of the smartest things you can do when it comes to dating, is have you an exceptional wing woman or man or three.

Before you think about the end goal, get your process right by having your support system in place. So that when your L’s come (and lol, dating in the Caribbean can be an extreme sport). You already have a support system in place to help you minimise the pain and time you lose from those L’s. This helps you spend most of your time moving forward, towards your W’s.

Helping you to win more, faster, sooner.

You deserve that.

To win love, as soon as possible.
You deserve all the love in the world.